if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
