is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
my being single is dangerous.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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