i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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