She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
