Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
