My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
