sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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