All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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