He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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