If that was your dad, he is hot
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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