Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
