So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
