you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
