It's Friday. Sex?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
