unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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