i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
