I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
