omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
