gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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