i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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