STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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