I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
