My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
