I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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