So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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