I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
