I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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