Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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