Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
