the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Is it penis luge time yet?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
