But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
