Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
