Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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