In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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