so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
