Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
