you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
