Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
try to milk me bitch
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