Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
