I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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