I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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