u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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