I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
