Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
