He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
