dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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