You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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