Are we in a gay sports bar?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
