Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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