get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
