playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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