I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
