I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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