Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Don't you send me to vm
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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